It's the Little Things

It is the little things that can get to me.  They sneak up when I am not looking.  They steal my joy and drive me to a unthankful place that just seems to pull me deeper and deeper into anxiety.  I wish I was strong enough to resist. 

Today is a great day, but it's one of those days.

This morning I have a lot to do.  I decided to wash some clothes, and my barely holding it together 11 year old washing machine leaks water all over the floor.  It is just too much for me.  I cave in to the wave of worry.  I begin to sink into the what ifs....

what if the washing machine can't be repaired by Michael...
what if the floor is rotted now....

what if we go bankrupt trying to keep up with this house and all our things...
what if......

I begin to feel like I can't catch my breath, literally.  I try to gasp for oxygen, but I feel the weight of anxiety heavy on my chest.

I pray.   It's all I have left.

Then I hear in my heart, the words I have buried deep with Scripture memory....

"Cast your cares on the Lord.  He will sustain you.  He will never let the righteous be shaken."
Psalm 55:22

"In everything with prayer and petition submit your requests to God." Philippians 4:6-7

I feel the darkness lifting.  Light begins to shine into my heart.

My breathing returns to normal.  Peace fills my body.  I begin to smile, and then giggle, and then laugh with joy.

Yes, this house may fall apart around my head.  All my fears may come true even.  But I have a God in Heaven who will hold me in the palm of His hands and breath love and mercy and grace on me.

His grace is sufficient. 

These little words are all I need to keep me from going crazy.   It really is the little things.

Mowing the grass is one of my many things on my to do list today.