Why Me??

I CAN imagine what it must have been like to be in Tuscaloosa on April 27 holding on tight to my children and praying to be spared from nature's wrath.   I can imagine this very vividly because I was in this city right before it was ripped apart. 

Not knowing what the weather held and going against every gut feeling to stay home (aka Holy Spirit), my family of five decided to travel from Chattanooga through Alabama to Mississippi on Wednesday.  The first minutes of the trip started off with us running into a public restroom for safety as a tornado was reported not far from our location in Chattanooga.  After the storm passed, we headed back home to regroup.  Our electricity was off, and we made the decision to go on with our trip even though everything in me said stay.

After studying the radar, it seemed that we needed to hustle through Alabama to get past the upcoming storms.  We actually set the goal to get past Birmingham to be safe.  We made good time, and once we were past Birmingham, we were out of gas and hungry.  Tuscaloosa was our next option for stopping.  We love this city.  We have stopped here along our trip to get a coffee and let the children play at a wonderful park.  But today something in me told me to keep going. 

So we decided to keep going, and we coasted into a gas station on fumes to refill a little ways down the road from Tuscaloosa.  When we were filling up, the air was hot and sticky and the sky was churning like we were in the middle of a whirlpool.   It made me nervous, and I rushed the boys to hurry and get going again.

We ended up not going very much further until we had to seek shelter as we entered a dangerous supercell that had produced a deadly tornado.  I huddled up my little family in the corner of the building and listened as the wind slammed into the wall of the building.  I remember praying to be spared.  I looked at the faces of my little ones as if it might be my last.  I made plans to do everything I could to save them.  I waited as I knew I was not in control of my fate. 

After two and half  hours of waiting out these powerful storms, the winds calmed and the skies cleared.  We were okay.  But so many people just miles up the road were not.  Hundreds lost their lives.  Over 600 were hurt.  Many lost their homes, businesses, and friends and family. 

I couldn't help but wonder why me???  Why were we alive and okay?  Moms just like me were clinging on to their children and babies and praying, but they didn't make it.  There are no answer to my question except pure humility and gratitude.  I was reminded through this humbling experience that life is short and we are not in control.   We are incredibly fragile, and we are not in control. 

Eternity is on my mind a lot right now.

I have to confess that I have wondered when I die what if I realize Heaven is not there, and this religious thing is just a make believe story to give people comfort.  My answer is I don't care if I'm wrong.  I will have lived my life in peace, hope, security, and love.  Serving others and believing in miracles will be the worst outcome.  But what if I'm right....then death is not the end.  I put my hope in that Jesus was telling the truth, and there is a paradise waiting for us if just accept His gift of LIFE.  That's too good to turn down. 

I hope that the lives lost this week are not really lost, but they are now in a beautiful Heaven with no tears, regrets, pains, or sorrow.

And the why me??  I may never know, but I know that it's my responsibility to live life to its fullest.  I will love deeply, apologize quickly,  live in grace, serve as I can, and tell others of the hope that fills my heart because of Jesus Christ.